10: Life is sexually transmitted.

9 : Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

8: Men have two emotions, Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

7: Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the internet
and they won't bother you for weeks.

6: Some people are like a Slinky .. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

5: Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

4: All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to Criticism.

3: Why does a slight tax increase cost you £200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you £30.00?

2: In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And The Number 1 Thought For 2008 :

We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among millions of cows in Britain but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Immigration.

- Scott (Blatantly copied from somewhere)